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pixiesstolemyapples:

cooldragonboy4000:

i just ordered dominos and they gave me this

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so i was like what the fuck and complained (literally how do u even eat this? tell me.) and they gave me another pizza and i was so excited to see how like perfectly constructed this next pizza was gonna be because wouldn’t you assume they would care more in order to Satisfy the Customer. well

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i am suing dominos and i hate america 

were they carrying them on their fuckin backs??

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lenabeanz:

aesthetic-dissonance:

sagihairius:

My mom just informed me that my first word was “quote” so I’m going to make sure my last word before I die will be “unquote”

you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity

my first word was “ball” so I really want my last word to be “sack”

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a-guy-in-a-checked-shirt:

ask-cosplay-lovina:

romanorgasm:

seborgasm:

would-your-panties-drop-if-i:

tangoingwithmango:

thisrealityhere:

gingerrlocks:

riflesandroadhouses:

joshfransexyy:

butthurtbandboys:

australia gets christmas before america
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but american gets freedom before everyone
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but canada gets maple syrup before everyone

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but hungarians open gifts on the 24th

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but freedom

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kangaroos

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REINDEERSimage

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eight fucking days of presents

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gets paid for going to school.

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pasta

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Crumpets!!

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aroihkin:

freyjas:

the-vashta-nerada:

  • i find it pretty fucking inconsiderate that my grandchildren haven’t used time travel to visit me.
  • and frankly, i’m a bit offended.
  • AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU GRANDCHILDREN? 
  • WELL FUCK YOU 
  • MAYBE I WON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS AND YOU WON’T EXIST 
  • HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT

what if we have tho

what if we just didn’t know they were our grandkids

what if your best friend has to constantly remind themselves not to call you grandma/grandpa

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